Tough Love
by OCDdegrassi
Summary: Remus curled up next to James and the two feel asleep in each other's arms. Neither had a clue that their lives would soon be turned upside down. Marauders Era. Mpreg. The Epilogue has been added, and this story is officially COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Established Remus/James, Others In Later Chapters  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Graphic Sexual Situations, Mpreg  
**Note: **So this is the first installment of a multi-chapter fic. *gasp* I know, I haven't written a multi-chapter story in forever, but I've had the idea for this one for a while now, and my muse finally helped me to start writing. I already know where I want to take this story, but I am still up for suggestions. You never know; I could change my mind. Anyway, here it is. Hope you enjoy!

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The Gryffindor common room was filled with students celebrating Gryffindor's victory against Slytherin in the first Quidditch match of the season. Firewhiskey was being passed around from person to person, courtesy of the Marauders, who had snuck out of the castle and returned with a case of it. "To Gryffindor! This is gonna be the best Quidditch season yet!" Captain James Potter yelled, holding his drink up in a toast. The rest of the students cheered.

After two more hours of drinking and celebrating, most of the students were starting to retire to their dormitories. A couple of them were passed out on the couches and floor of the common room. The Marauders entered their room and sat on the two middle four-poster beds. "Can you believe we won? What a great way to start off our sixth year!" The other boys grinned at their excited friend.

"Of course Gryffindor won. With you as the captain, how could we not?" Remus replied. James smiled sheepishly at his lover and pulled him into a comfortable embrace. James captured Remus's lips with his own and Remus deepened the kiss. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Get a room," he joked. James glared at him. "Last I checked, we were in one." Sirius just smirked back at him, knowing that he'd ruined the fun.

Remus was far too shy to do anything in front of the other boys, even though they were his best friends. Sure enough, the werewolf blushed and pulled away from James, who growled at the loss of contact. Peter was averting his gaze from them. James and Remus had been together since their third year, and Peter was fine with it, but he still got uncomfortable when they kissed in front of him. Sirius had been supportive from the start, but he loved to tease them.

"We should be getting to bed anyway, Prongs," Moony said. James grumbled. "Yea, yea…" They all changed into their pajamas and crawled into their own beds, except for Remus. He crawled into James's bed. He'd been having nightmares since the night he was bitten by Fenrir Greyback, but for some reason, he never had nightmares when he slept with James. James would always hold him tight and make him feel safe. He snuggled against his taller lover as James wrapped his arms around him.

"Night Padfoot," Remus said loud enough for the other boy to hear. Sirius smiled to himself. "Night Moony." They were the only two who ever said good night to each other, and they weren't even sure why they did it. It was probably just out of habit. Ever since their first year, nobody said goodnight when they were at Hogwarts. But during their earlier years, Sirius and Remus spent most of their summers at each other's houses and for some reason, it seemed appropriate to say goodnight when they weren't at school. Even as Remus and Sirius both spent more time with James, they still had a special bond with each other.

James shut the curtains and cast a silencing charm. Remus smiled and kissed him softly. Prongs worked his hands up Moony's shirt and pulled it over his head. They stared into each other's eyes and Remus kissed him again. As the rest of their clothes were thrown elsewhere on the bed, their kiss became more passionate. Remus's skin felt like it was on fire wherever James touched. He kissed his way down his raven-haired lover's neck, sucking and nibbling lightly, causing his lover to moan.

James positioned himself so that he was on top of Remus and spread the werewolf's legs. They'd made love many times before, and they took turns with who was on top, but Remus seemed to prefer being on bottom. James didn't mind at all. He was the more dominant of the two, so he was perfectly content with this arrangement. He cast a lubrication spell onto both his shaft and Remus's hole. He slowly entered his lover.

Remus bit his lip at the intrusion. He knew what to expect, but that didn't make it completely pain free. It always stung a little at the beginning, but it was worth it. James had to use his self-control not to speed up until Remus was ready. The feeling of warmth and tightness surrounding his penis never got old, no matter how many times they were together. Remus always felt incredible beneath him. When Remus's breathing returned to normal, James took it as his cue to continue. He pulled out and thrust back in roughly.

Remus gasped as James hit his prostate. His back arched as the other boy rocked in and out of him in rhythm. Remus tightened and released his anal muscles to create added pressure to James's cock. James moaned. Remus's eyes slid closed in pleasure. As James breathed out, "Moony," Remus felt the cum squirt out of his own dick. James thrust two more times slowly and Remus knew he was finished too.

They panted heavily and tried to catch their breath. When they finally did, James pulled out of Remus, who flinched slightly. The cum spilled onto the sheets and Remus cast a quick cleaning spell. He hated waking up wet and sticky the next morning. Remus curled up next to James and the two feel asleep in each other's arms. Neither had a clue that their lives would soon be turned upside down.

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**A/N:** So what do you think? Worth continuing? Please Review! It makes my day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, One-Sided Remus/Sirius  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Graphic Sexual Situations, Mpreg  
**Note: **Whoo, I updated! I'm trying to keep my updates coming relatively quickly. Thanks to the people who reviewed the first chapter, although I am a bit disappointed that I had a lot more hits than reviews. Oh well. Anyway, here's the next chapter, and it's starting to introduce more of the actual plot. Hope you enjoy!

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Remus woke up far too early for his taste. He was normally a morning person, but not after drinking the previous night. He groaned and rolled away from James. As he tried to fall back asleep, he was hit with a sudden wave of nausea. He jumped from the bed and ran to the bathroom, just barely making the toilet. He threw up all the contents of his stomach and then sat back. He'd never been this hung over before. Usually his lycanthropy helped him to tolerate alcohol well, but apparently not this time.

It was strange; he didn't even remember drinking that much. He pushed the thought from his mind and lay on the bathroom floor. He didn't feel like moving. "Remus," he heard James called. He sighed. "I'm in here." Within seconds, James was standing over him in the bathroom, concern etched on his face. "What's wrong? You never get sick from drinking." Remus shrugged. "I guess there's a first time for everything."

He reached for James's outstretched hand and allowed his lover to help stand, but James didn't let it go. "I don't know, Moony, maybe we better go to the Hospital Wing and let Madam Pomfrey make sure that you're alright." Remus looked like he'd just been told that his "furry little problem" had been exposed to the entire school.

"Are you insane? Then she'll know that I've been drinking and she'll tell the Headmaster and I'll be expelled! Then what will I do? Hogwarts has been the only place that's accepted me with my problem. I'll have nowhere to go!" He started to hyperventilate. "Whoa, okay, Remus, call down. We won't go to the Hospital Wing." The werewolf visibly relaxed. James pulled him into his arms. "I'm just worried about you," he said softly. Remus smiled into his chest.

"I know, but I'm okay, really. I don't even feel sick anymore." James gave him a suspicious look but he could that Remus was being honest. The other boy never was a good liar. A very disheveled-looking Sirius walked through the door. "What are you both doing in here?" He grumbled. "Moony was throwing up," James told him, ignoring the look of annoyance that Remus shot him. That woke Sirius up. He was quickly by his friend's side.

"Are you okay? Do you need to go the Hospital Wing?" Remus crossed his arms. "I'm fine! Will everyone just stop worrying about me?" The other two boys exchanged worried glances. Before they could say anything else, Remus walked back into the dormitory and lay in his own bed, facing away from everyone else. James climbed into the bed next to Remus and put his arms around him, but Remus shrugged him away.

Remus didn't have to look at James to know that he had a hurt expression on his face. He suddenly felt guilty and turned around to snuggle with him. They held each other, both feigning sleep. James was worried about Remus. He wasn't acting like himself, and after he threw-up that morning, James was terrified that there was something wrong with him that was more serious than moodiness and a hangover.

Remus just happened to be thinking the same thing. What was going on with him? He didn't know where his feelings were coming from. One minute he felt like he wanted to pull James close and never let him go, but the next he felt like he wanted to scream at him for no reason. Remus had been noticing this strange change in his emotions for the past week or so but it seemed to be getting worse. It was starting to stress him out. He felt so confused, and added to that, he felt guilty about hurting James. It wasn't close to the next full moon, or the last one, so his lycanthropy had nothing to do with it. He wondered what else it could possibly be.

Sirius lay in his own bed, staring up at the ceiling. Remus never threw up after a night of drinking. James and Peter did, and occasionally Sirius himself, but never Remus. The other three had always envied their friend's strong stomach. Could Remus be sick? Maybe he had the flu. But then why was he acting so weird? He reasoned that being sick caused most people to be moody. So that must be it. Remus just had a little bug that was going around. Sirius hoped that was all.

He didn't know what he'd do if Remus were seriously ill. All he knew is that he'd give anything to switch places with his friend. He'd gladly take any disease to protect Remus. All he wanted was for him to be healthy and happy. That's why he was so supportive of his relationship with James. Even though it killed him every time the two held hands or kissed, Sirius dealt with it for Remus.

But what he wouldn't give once, just once, for Remus to look at him the way that he looked at James- with pure love and longing. It was the same way that Sirius looked at Remus, even though nobody had ever noticed. He'd give anything for Remus to look at him like that. But he knew it would never happen and that's why he stayed silent and put on a smile for his two best friends, even as his heart was breaking. He'd let Remus be happy even if it killed him.

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**A/N: **So what did you think? I added more to Sirius's side of the story. I'm planning on making this more of a love triangle, and throw Lily into the mix on James's side. Thoughts? Opinions? Please Review! It helps me keep writing!


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, One-Sided Remus/Sirius  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Graphic Sexual Situations, Mpreg  
**Note: **Another update! I was a bit surprised that the last chapter only got 1 review, but I'm hoping more people will let me know how they feel about this chapter. Hope you enjoy.

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James stayed curled up next to Remus until lunchtime, when his stomach growled in protest. He had to get up and eat something before his stomach digested itself. He carefully slid out of Remus's embrace and stood up. Sirius and Peter were already awake and engaged in a game of chess. "Who's winning?" When Sirius growled, James figured Peter was.

"I'm starving, let's go to dinner," he whined. Sirius was more than happy to abandon the chess game that he was currently losing and ignored Peter's complaints. "Should we wake up Moony?" James looked at his sleeping lover's form and shook his head. "Nah, let him sleep." The other two nodded and they walked out of the dormitory together.

When they returned from dinner, they were all a bit surprised that Remus was still sleeping. James sat on the bed beside him. Remus stirred when he felt the bed dip and groggily opened his eyes. "What time is it?" He stretched his arms and sat up. James smiled at him lovingly. "You just missed dinner." Remus gaped. "You guys let me miss dinner? Why didn't you wake me up?" Sirius and Peter both pointed to James, who grumbled, "Thanks guys," before continuing.

"I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful and it seemed like you needed the rest." Remus pouted. That wasn't fair. He wanted to be mad at James but that was impossible when he was being so sweet. "Well I'm hungry now. I'm going to the kitchens." He stood up and instantly sat back down. His vision had blurred and he felt dizzy. He held his head in his hands.

"Moony, what's wrong?" James asked, starting to panic. Sirius and Peter were watching Remus in concern. He just shook his head. "Nothing, I must have just stood up too quickly, that's all." He tried to stand again but James pulled him back down. "Remus, I think there's something else going on. You need to go to Madam Pomfrey." Remus pulled his arm out of James's grasp. "No, I don't and I'd appreciate it if you didn't treat me like I was a baby."

The shock and hurt on James's face would normally have made Remus feel like crying, but right now he didn't care. He could take care of himself and he was annoyed at Prong's hovering. "Padfoot, do you want to go to the kitchen with me?" Sirius looked between James and Remus and nodded cautiously. He followed the werewolf out of the room but not before giving James an apologetic look.

James turned to Peter, with tears building up in his eyes. "What did I do that was so bad?" He looked so lost and hurt and Peter was at a loss for words. He awkwardly pulled James into a hug and patted him on the back. "It'll be okay," he said. James sighed. He hoped so.

Remus and Sirius walked half-way to the kitchen in silence before Sirius spoke. "So…what do you want for dinner?" Remus stopped walking and looked at him. He smiled. He could always count on Sirius. He was there for Remus if he needed to talk, but he never pressured him into anything. Sirius thought Moony's smile was the most beautiful thing in the world, and he loved when he was the one responsible for it.

"I'm thinking steak and mashed potatoes," Remus finally answered. Sirius nodded and they resumed walking. Remus was in a considerably better mood when they finally reached the kitchen. Remus ordered his meal and Sirius got a cup of chocolate and vanilla ice cream. When they left the kitchen, Remus started walking in a different direction than the common room, but Sirius followed him silently. Strangely enough, he knew exactly where Moony was headed even without him saying anything.

They ended up at the tree next to the Black Lake. It was Moony's favorite spot. He sat below the extending branches and Sirius took the spot next to him. They ate in silence and watched the sun as it set below the trees. Remus finally turned to Sirius with a look of despair. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Padfoot. I don't mean to go off on James, but I can't help it. I feel like I can't control my emotions." Sirius thought for a moment before replying.

"Maybe you're just stressed. With all the work the teachers having been giving us to study for N.E.W.T.'s and with your transformations, add on a relationship and it's no wonder you're snapping at people." Even as he said it, he knew that wasn't really what was going on with Remus, but he wanted to make him feel better. Remus gave him a small smile. "It's not that and you know it. And now that I'm throwing up and getting dizzy, I'm…" he paused. "I'm scared. What if there's something seriously wrong with me?"

Sirius shook his head. "There's not. Whatever it is, we can get through this. You'll be okay." Remus leaned into Sirius, who quickly embraced him a comforting hug. As he held Remus in silence, Sirius couldn't help but wish that he never had to let go. When they finally did separate, the two stood and headed back to the dormitory. They walked in a comfortable silence. When they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, Remus stopped.

"You go ahead. I just need to be alone for a little bit." Sirius gave him a worried look, but Remus smiled back encouragingly. "I'll be fine. I just need to clear my head. I'll be up in a little bit." Sirius was afraid of pushing Remus away by being overly-protective so he let him leave, but he wasn't happy about it. When he reached the dormitory, James practically attacked him with questions. "Where's Remus? What did he say? Is he alright?"

"He's fine. He just needed to clear his head for a while." James looked at Sirius in disbelief. "What does that mean? Clear his head from what?" Sirius shrugged. James growled in frustration, but flopped onto his bed when he realized that Sirius wasn't going to give him anything more. He'd just have to wait for Remus to come back and then he'd find out what the hell was going on with his lover.

At the same time, Remus approached the Hospital Wing. He needed to find out what was going on with him. Even if it was horrible, he had to know. He'd decided to do it alone just in case it was as bad as he feared. At least this way he could figure out how to break the news to the guys gently (if that was even possible). He took a deep breath and opened the door.

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**A/N: **So what did you think? Please review! I really appreciate feedback. Next Chapter: We finally find out what's wrong with Remus. Special thanks to **killhilvolume2 **who has reviewed both chapters and was the only one to review Chapter 2.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, One-Sided Remus/Sirius  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Graphic Sexual Situations, Mpreg  
**Note: **Wow, so there were quite a bit more reviews for Chapter 3 than there was for Chapter 2, so I'm really happy about that! Hopefully it continues onto this chapter. In this update, I've added a part about Peter. It may seem irrelevant to the plot of the story (and in all honesty, it is) but I thought it was necessary to at least explore why Peter eventually betrayed his friends. Hope you enjoy.

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Remus stepped into the Hospital Wing. It was a place he was all too familiar with. The beds were lined up neatly and the room smelled sterile. Madam Pomfrey exited her office when she heard the door open. "Ah, Mr. Lupin. How are you?" Remus smiled warmly at her. She took care of him every month after the full moon and he was grateful to her for that. "I'm okay. At least… I hope I am." Madam Pomfrey's eyebrows furrowed in concern as she led him to one of the empty beds.

He sat down and she pulled a chair up so that she was facing him. "So what exactly is going on?" Remus bit his lip. "Well, I've been really moody lately. I've been going from happy to angry within the span of a minute, and I've been snapping at the people I care about without any rhyme or reason. And this morning, I felt nauseous as soon as I woke up. I went back to bed after I threw up and I slept through dinner. Then, when I finally woke up again, I got really dizzy when I tried to stand."

He conveniently left out the part about him drinking the previous night. He didn't think it was necessary to tell her since he doubted the alcohol had anything to do with the recent changes that were going on with him. Madam Pomfrey looked as though she were deep in thought. "Well, let me run a few tests. I'm going to need to take a little bit of your blood." Remus paled. He hated getting his blood drawn. He gulped and nodded. She instructed him to lie down so he did.

She pressed her wand up to his forearm and Remus watched a stream of blood leave his arm and land in a vile that she was holding. He felt faint, but he was fairly certain that this time it was from seeing his blood. You'd think he'd be more accustomed to blood with all the transformations he went through. He woke up every morning after the full moon with cuts and gashes all over his body that bled out, but blood still made him sick to his stomach. Maybe he had simply seen too much of it.

She walked back into her office and he could see her muttering several spells as his blood changed colors. He nervously waited for the results. When the blood turned purple, she looked astonished and shocked, and Remus was suddenly wishing that he had brought James or Sirius with him. He'd thought he was strong enough to handle whatever it was on his own, but now he wasn't so sure. She walked back out, visibly shaken, and placed a hand on his shoulder. Remus felt his mouth go dry. He tried to ask what was wrong with him but no words came out.

"Remus," she started and he felt his stomach squirm in anxiety because she never addressed him by his first name. "There's no easy way to say this, honey, but you're pregnant." Remus stared at her for a couple seconds in silence. He wasn't sure how to react. He was pregnant? That was definitely not what he was expecting. A part of him felt relieved because he didn't have some fatal disease, but another part of him was scared to death.

He was just a teenager and he wasn't ready to be a parent. How would James react? What would Sirius and Peter think? And what about his parents? Oh god, that would be a fun conversation. This was insane. Maybe it had just been a mistake. "Are you sure?" Madam Pomfrey nodded and smiled reassuringly at him. "I know this is scary and you must have a lot of questions, but I'm here to answer them or if you ever just need to talk." Did he have any questions? Yes. He had a ton of them. But where was he even supposed to start? He finally settled on one question.

"How long have I been, er, pregnant?" He asked awkwardly. It felt strange to say that. "Good question. Let me see." She placed her wand on top of Remus's stomach and a blurry vision appeared. Remus had no idea what it was, but Madam Pomfrey appeared to be satisfied with whatever the strange formation was. "8 weeks." Remus blanched. He'd been pregnant for 8 weeks and hadn't known it?

His mind tried to think back 8 weeks ago. It was during summer, so he must have conceived when he had stayed at James's house for two weeks. He tried to focus his mind back on the present. He had other questions he needed to ask. "I know that male pregnancy can occur in the wizarding world, but I don't know the specifics. How exactly does it happen?"

"Well, during heterosexual intercourse, the sperm enters into the vagina and travels through the uterus to the fallopian tubes, where the egg is located, but with homosexual couples, the sperm possesses the magical gene, so when it is entered into the anus, it sends out a signal to the rest of the body for reproduction. A uterus is formed and the sperm travels through it to the temporary fallopian tubes that have been created. The host's own sperm is transformed into an egg that is located in these tubes."

Remus was listening in rapt attention and Madam Pomfrey continued. "When the sperm reaches the egg, it fertilizes it, after which the egg descends into the uterus and begins to develop just as it would in a heterosexual pregnancy. In males, the temporary fallopian tubes vanish after this occurs." Remus took a few moments to process all of this before moving on to his next question.

"So why me?" Madam Pomfrey looked startled at this. "What do you mean?" Remus tried rewording it. "I mean, there aren't many male pregnancies that occur, at least not that I've heard of, so why did I get pregnant?" He was no longer a frightened patient. He felt more like an eager student who was being taught a new and interesting subject. He felt so unattached that he could almost believe that it was someone else who was pregnant and not him.

"Well, male pregnancies occur amongst homosexuals in the wizarding world as often as pregnancies occur amongst heterosexuals. There are just far less homosexuals, not to mention ones that are open about their sexuality, so of course there are less male pregnancies, but the percentages are the same." Remus contemplated this. He'd never thought of it that way.

He'd just always assumed that male pregnancies were rare and only happened every once in awhile. It never crossed his mind that there were just few male pregnancies because there were few homosexuals in the wizarding world. He started to wonder if there were actually more cases of male pregnancies than people knew because the guys involved either hid or terminated the pregnancies out of fear of the prejudice they faced.

Remus had already made up his mind. There was no way he'd terminate the pregnancy. He could never kill his own child. The thought was just unfathomable to him. He just hoped James would feel the same way. As Madam Pomfrey detailed how to take care of himself during the pregnancy, Remus wondered how he would tell James.

Back in the dormitory, Peter watched as both James and Sirius fretted over Remus. He felt envious. He was one of the four Marauders and yet he felt like he didn't fit in with them. Remus and Sirius had a special bond, Sirius and James were best mates, and Remus and James were dating. So where did he fit in?

He knew if he was in Remus's position, then the other three wouldn't be nearly as worried, if they noticed at all. Sometimes he wondered if the only reason they allowed him in their group was because he was the only other Gryffindor boy in their year. Maybe they felt sorry for him. He sighed sadly. All he wanted was to feel like he belonged, but he didn't. Not with them anyway.

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**A/N: **Ok, so I want to apologize to anyone who was offended by me referring to abortion as killing a child. My personal views aside, I wrote this statement from Remus's mindset because I can imagine him being the type of guy who doesn't believe in abortion, but I hope I didn't step on anyone's toes. Anyway, what did you think? Please review! It makes me happy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, One-Sided Remus/Sirius  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Graphic Sexual Situations, Mpreg  
**Note: **We're already of Chapter 5, my faithful readers. I appreciate everyone's reviews and that's the reason I've been motivated enough to update so quickly, so keep them coming! This chapter was actually pretty hard for me to write, although I'm not sure why, so hopefully it turned out okay. Hope you enjoy.

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Remus entered the dormitory and was immediately surrounded by three worried Marauders. "Where have you been?" James demanded. "I went to the Hospital Wing." It was silent as Moony's friends waited for him to tell them what was wrong. When he didn't say anything for a minute, James tried to nudge him along. "And?" Remus sighed. He couldn't think of any way to sugar-coat it, so he might as well just come right out and say it. "I'm pregnant."

There was another long pause of silence as Sirius, James and Peter stared at Remus, who was looking anywhere but their faces. A blush was creeping onto his cheeks. He risked a glance at James who was staring at him with his mouth hanging open in shock. Finally, James pulled him into a bear hug. Remus hugged him back in relief. "So you're not mad?" James looked insulted that he would even ask that. "Of course I'm not mad, Moony. We're having a baby. That's wonderful!" Remus looked at Peter, who gave him an encouragingly smile, and then at Sirius, whose reaction he was most afraid of.

Sirius was looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face. "Er, Padfoot?" He asked hopefully. He was silently praying that Sirius didn't freak out on him. He needed him right now. Sirius swallowed hard. He felt that there was a rock in his chest that was pressing down on his heart. He managed to croak out, "Yea, great," before walking out of the room. He felt tears stinging his eyes, but he wouldn't let them fall. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he didn't care. He just needed to get away.

Remus watched Sirius walk away and he felt his heartbreaking. He was afraid of this. Sirius hated him. He felt a few silent tears stream down his face as he choked back a sob. James held him close and whispered in his ear, "Shh, it'll be okay. He'll come around." James wasn't entirely sure that Sirius would come around, but he was sure as hell going to do everything he could to make it happen. Remus couldn't take this right now. He needed to be focusing on himself and the baby, not stressing out over Sirius's childishness.

When Remus finally calmed down, James pulled away without letting him go. "Why don't we go for a walk? Get some fresh air?" Remus shook his head. He didn't want to go for a walk. Truthfully, he didn't want to do anything but curl up into a ball on his bed and cry. "No, I'm going to stay here, but you go." James looked unsure, so Remus continued. "I'll be fine. Go. Get some fresh air. I'll be here when you get back." James nodded and left the room. He glanced back to see Remus sitting on his bed. James wanted to stay and help him, but his mind was reeling and he really needed to clear his head.

Peter sat down across from Remus. "Are you okay?" Remus nodded. "Yea, I just, I can't believe that Sirius took off like that. He must hate me. He probably thinks I'm disgusting." Peter moved so he was sitting right next to Moony and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't say that. He just needs some time to get used to the idea. You're his best friend. He could never hate you." Remus gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Wormtail." Peter smiled back at him. "Anytime. Now, why don't we play a game of exploding snaps to get your mind off of things?" Remus was about to say no, but Peter gave him a horrible attempt at a puppy dog face. He laughed and agreed.

James walked into the common room in a sort of daze. "Potter, what's up with you? You look like you've seen a ghost," Lily Evans said. James sat down next to the red-haired girl on the couch and sighed. The two used to hate each other, but Remus had insisted the two play nice for his sake, so they put their differences aside and found that they didn't totally hate one another. "Remus is pregnant." He knew Remus would tell Lily eventually, so he figured he might as well do it now. Lily's eyebrows rose up on her forehead. "What?" James nodded.

"Wow, that's, wow." She wasn't sure what to say. "Are you okay?" James bit his lip. "Yea, I think so. I mean, I love Remus and I know I'm going to love our child, but it's just so soon, you know? We're only 16. I mean, I don't know what I'm doing. What if I'm a horrible father?" James said honestly. He couldn't reveal any of his fears to Remus, because he knew his lover was already scared enough as it was, and James didn't want to put any more pressure on him.

"Most parents don't know what they're doing when they have their first kid, but you learn. You're going to love your child and that's what's important. You can figure the rest out later. You'll be fine." James looked up at her and smiled. That was just what he needed to hear. He wasn't really surprised. Normally, he went to Remus with his problems, but since he couldn't do that now, he had known that Lily would be the next best thing.

She and Remus were pretty close, and they were actually a lot alike. "Thanks, Evans." She just shrugged. He normally drove her crazy with his arrogance, but this was a different side of him. He was scared and confused and Lily felt her heart go out to him. She had never seen this side before, but now she could kind of see why Remus put up with him.

Sirius stood by the same tree that he and Remus had sat by earlier and cried. It was hard enough that James and Remus were together, but now they were having a baby. He felt guilty for reacting the way he did because he knew it hurt Remus's feelings and that was the last thing he wanted to do, but he couldn't help it. It was just too much and he couldn't stand there and put on a happy face. He knew he would have to for Remus's sake though. When he felt like he had cried his last tears, he composed himself and walked back to Gryffindor Tower.

He entered just as James was standing up from the couch and the two locked eyes. James had been planning on yelling at Sirius as soon as he saw him, but upon seeing his friend's puffy eyes that were red from crying, he was stunned into silence. Sirius ignored him and walked up the stairs. James followed. When he got to the room, Remus and Peter instantly stopped talking. Peter looked at James to see what they should do, but the other boy looked just as lost as he was. Sirius stopped in front of Remus and the werewolf mentally prepared himself for another blow.

"I'm sorry." Remus opened his mouth to speak but found that he couldn't think of a word to say. "I acted like an ass. I was just shocked, but that's no excuse. I'm really sorry." Remus took in his friend's guilt-ridden appearance and knew that he was being sincere. He jumped up and pulled Sirius into a hug. "It's okay. I'm just glad you don't hate me." Sirius smiled as he hugged him back. "I could never hate you."

Remus was practically glowing in content. His three best friends had accepted him. He felt guilty for even assuming that they wouldn't. After all, they had accepted that he was a werewolf when he didn't think they would, so he should have given them a bit more credit this time. It was as if he were in a dream, but what he didn't know was that reality would soon come crashing down on him.

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**A/N: **So Lily finally entered the picture. What did you think? Please review! I'll give you a cookie! Next Chapter: The guys deal with the full moon and Remus's transformation.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, One-Sided Remus/Sirius  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Graphic Sexual Situations & Werewolf Transformations, Mpreg  
**Note: **Another chapter down. I'm having so much fun writing this story, so I hope you're having as much fun reading it! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. I'm really grateful and I hope that you keep reviewing. Now onto Chapter 6. Hope you enjoy.

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Two weeks had passed since Remus first learned he was pregnant and the full moon was approaching. The young werewolf suddenly started to worry about the toll his transformations would take on his unborn child. After several days of stressing about it, James decided it would be best to put Remus's mind at ease by going to see Madam Pomfrey. The four Marauders entered the Hospital Wing on the morning of Friday, October 15th. The room was free of any other students, much to their relief.

Madam Pomfrey saw the four of them and smiled. This was more like it. Normally, none of the Marauders came to the Hospital Wing alone. They were always accompanied by each other for support and Madam Pomfrey was relieved that Remus's pregnancy had not changed that. "What can I help you boys with?" Remus fidgeted nervously with the hem of his robes. "Well, the full moon's tonight, and I was just wondering, umm, will the transformation hurt the baby?"

Worry was etched across his facial features. She smiled warmly at him. "No, dear, not at all. During the transformation, the placenta is protected by a magical shield surrounding it." Remus let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. The pregnancy still seemed surreal to him, but it felt real enough for him to be scared for his baby's safety. He couldn't live with himself if he hurt his own child, even if it was during the full moon.

James wrapped his arm around Remus's waist and pulled him closer. He was relieved too. He would never admit it to Moony, but he knew that there was a good possibility that Remus would accidentally hurt the baby while he was a werewolf. He also knew that Remus would never forgive himself if he did, so James was more than happy to have that obstacle out of the way. Madam Pomfrey thought it was sweet how protective James was of Remus.

Of course she knew about their relationship; everybody did. The boys made no attempt to hide it, which Madam Pomfrey was now grateful for. At least when the pregnancy progressed and Remus started to get bigger, he wouldn't have to deal with the whole school finding out that he was pregnant AND gay. "Any other questions?" Remus was about to say no when Peter spoke up. His voice was timid and unsure. "How does, er, I mean, how does the baby come out?" The other three boys looked at him with identical horrified expressions.

It was a good question, but Remus wasn't sure he was ready to hear the answer and Sirius and James were positive that they weren't. "Well, during labor, the perineum, which is the area between the anus and ballsack, will open up. A temporary birth canal will be formed that connects the placenta to this area for the baby to be delivered." All four boys wore even more horrified expressions and looked as if they were going to be sick.

Remus had gone as white as a ghost and looked as if he were about to pass out. He really could have waited to hear that. "The opening of the perineum is no more painful that a normal cervix dilating during a female pregnancy though" she added. This gave Remus some comfort, but certainly not much. He just nodded deftly and started to walk out of the Hospital Wing as if he were marching to his death. The other three quickly followed him. When they were half-way down the hall, Peter addressed Remus. "I'm so sorry, Moony. I shouldn't have asked. I'm just, oh, I'm so sorry!" Remus just nodded quietly.

The information was still sinking in and he found himself unable to form any words. He wasn't mad at Peter. It was a completely valid question. He was just completely shell-shocked. He wasn't sure how he imagined the delivery happening, but it definitely wasn't that way. They returned to the dormitory and Remus sat on the bed, staring blankly at the wall. After about 30 minutes, James started to get worried. "Remus, are you okay?" Remus was finally shaken from his own thoughts and nodded. "Yea, I'm fine. Sorry I've been so quiet. It's just... weird." They all nodded in agreement.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Before darkness set in, the Marauders made their way to the Whomping Willow under James's invisibility cloak. Peter transformed into a rat to give them more room, but it was still awfully crowded under there. When they entered the tunnel, they took the invisibility cloak off and walked in silence. Remus hated this. He wished he wasn't a werewolf. It just wasn't fair. When they reached the inside of the Shrieking Shack, James hooked the chains onto Remus's arms and legs.

He hated doing it, because he knew Remus struggled against them in his werewolf form and it caused him pain, but he had to. It would be even worse if Remus broke free from the shack and ran loose. Sirius and James joined Peter in their animagus forms. As the moon rose in the sky, the transformation began. Remus closed his eyes in pain as his bones started to elongate and hair erupted all over his skin. Claws broke through his knuckles and his mind became clouded. His senses were heightened and he could smell his friends. He wanted to taste them.

He growled and sprang forward, but was instantly pulled back by the chains. He yelped in pain and tried to pull against them. They were rubbing harshly against his limbs, but he couldn't stop. He started to bite at himself when he couldn't reach the others. As the night wore on, even his werewolf form couldn't take the strain on his body. He collapsed onto the floor and stared ahead, before blacking out from exhaustion. After Prongs and Wormtail had fallen asleep in the corner, Padfoot approached Remus. He curled up next to his friend and fell asleep.

The next morning, Sirius was the first to wake up. Moony was already back in his human form and Sirius changed back. He stroked Remus's hair. He could see the cuts and bites all over him. "How is he?" Sirius almost jumped when he heard James. He quickly removed his hand from Remus. Luckily, James had been directly behind him so he hadn't seen Sirius stroking his boyfriend's hair. "He's still sleeping." Peter and James nodded and sat down next to him.

As if sensing their presence, Remus stirred and weakly opened his eyes. He was sore and tired, but still managed to smile when his friends came into view above him. James picked him up carefully and Sirius threw the invisibility cloak over them. He and Peter transformed again and the four made their way to the castle. When they were outside the Hospital Wing and knew the coast was clear, Sirius and Peter changed back and took the cloak off the other two.

Madam Pomfrey was already waiting inside for them and gestured James to put Remus on the bed. She immediately set to work healing Remus as best as she could. She shooed the others out, and they returned to the dormitory. Madam Pomfrey would be working on Remus for a while and then she would insist that he rest, so the boys had a couple hours to sleep before they went back to see him.

Madam Pomfrey was more worried about Remus's health now because of the baby. She had been honest when she said that his transformation wouldn't hurt the baby, but it was the days after that worried her. Remus was overly-weak and that wasn't good for the baby. She had to make sure he kept his strength up, but it was rather hard when his three friends were constantly visiting and keeping him from resting like he should be. She knew their intentions were good, but they definitely made her job more difficult.

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**A/N: **This was my first time writing a werewolf transformation, so how did I do? Did you like this chapter, love it, or hate it? Let me know! Please review. Next chapter: More people learn of Remus's pregnancy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, One-Sided Remus/Sirius  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Graphic Sexual Situations, Mpreg  
**Note: **Ok, so I know it's been forever since I've updated this story, and I feel so guilty! But I'm trying to start writing it again, so hopefully there are still some people who are interested in reading it. Well, here we go. We're finally at chapter 7.

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Halloween arrived quickly for the Marauder's. Remus was now 12 weeks pregnant, and his morning sickness had all but subsided. Unfortunately, he still had headaches quite frequently, but he wasn't complaining. He'd gladly take the dull throbbing of his head in place of throwing up at random times, with little warning. Remus was lying out in the sun by the Black Lake. A cool autumns breeze was blowing, and Remus could have easily fallen asleep if the other three Marauder's weren't wrestling loudly. Remus watched them in amusement. When James saw him looking, he jumped out of the fight and sat down next to Remus.

James gave him a quick peck on the lips before turning towards the lake. He was biting his lip and looked like he was deep in thought. Remus felt his curiosity stir, but he waited patiently for James to speak up. After about 3 minutes of sitting in silence, James finally pulled himself out of his own head. "Babe, I've been thinking…" he paused, but continued staring at the lake, seemingly unable to meet his boyfriend's eyes. "We're going to have to tell our parents about the baby soon, and the headmaster will have to know, so we can make arrangements to take care of the baby and still finish school."

He chanced a look at Remus, whose facial expression was blank. Remus had never even realized that he'd have to tell his parents and the headmaster. He supposed that he knew in the back of his mind, but he'd managed to ignore it up to this point. The reality suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks, and he started to hyperventilate. James looked panicked. "Oh my god, Remus, I'm sorry, calm down, please. I'm sorry." He looked like he wanted to reach out and hug Remus, but wasn't sure if he should or not. Sirius and Peter stopped their wrestling and hurried over to their friend.

"Remus, are you alright?" James looked helplessly at Sirius, who grabbed Remus by the shoulders and forced him to look into his eyes. "Just take deep breaths, ok Moony? Deep breaths." Remus did what he was told and slowly calmed down. James breathed a sigh of relief and pulled his boyfriend into a hug. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Remus sighed. "It's alright; I needed to think about it sooner or later anyway. I guess I just would have preferred later." James gave him a reassuring smile. "It'll be okay; I promise." He said it with such sincerity that Remus found himself believing it.

"I just hope the headmaster doesn't hate me. He's already risking enough by letting me go here when I'm a werewolf, and now, I'm pregnant to top it off? What if he kicks me out?" James sensed that the other boy was starting to panic again, so he quickly pulled him in for a hug. "He won't. Everything is going to work out. You'll see." Remus nodded and stood up. "Well, let's go tell the headmaster." James' mouth opened in shock. "Now?" Remus nodded. "I have to do it before I lose my nerve. So, let's just get this over with." James gulped and stood up too. "Well, if you're sure…" He was the one who brought up the subject, but he didn't think they'd do it right away.

They approached Headmaster Dippet's office and then realized that they didn't know the password. They looked at each other and started to spout off random words. "Balderdash", "Phoenix", "Hogwarts!" At the last word, the portrait swung open. Remus and James laughed at the headmaster's lack of originality, before cautiously entering the office. Headmaster Dippet smiled at the boys when he saw them. "Ah, yes, Lupin and Potter, come in. Sit down." They did so, and waited for the headmaster to finish writing what appeared to be a letter.

"Now, what can I do for you boys today?" They exchanged looks and Remus took the lead. "Er, Headmaster, we, um, we have something to tell you. That is, I'm, well, as odd as it sounds, I'm pregnant." He held his breath for Dippet's response, but if he was shocked, he certainly didn't show it. He merely smiled. "I know." Moony and Prong's mouths dropped. "You know? But how?" James practically shouted. "Madame Pomfrey told me. You didn't really think she'd keep this from me, did you?" He sounded amused and at that moment, Remus wasn't sure whether to be relieved or annoyed.

He was happy that Dippet had taken the news well, but he couldn't help but be annoyed that Madame Pomfrey broke his trust and told the headmaster. This was his secret, so it should have been up to him when he decided to tell people. But, he decided that he could forgive her, because she did make it easier on him. At least this way, he didn't have to wait for Dippet to process the information and possibly have a bad first-reaction. Dippet continued. "Now, when were you two planning on telling your parents?" Remus and James looked at each other, in hopes that the other would answer. When it didn't seem like either was going to say anything, the headmaster interjected for them.

"Would you two like to tell them today? I can send an OWL and have them come here. That way, you could tell them in person." Remus nodded nervously, and grabbed James' hand. "Yea, that sounds good. Thanks." James squeezed his hand in response and gave him another reassuring smile. The headmaster sent the letters out, and offered the boys some tea while they waited. They played three games of Wizard's Chess by the time their parents arrived. James' parents were old and fragile looking, and Remus feared that the news would give them a heart attack. They hugged their son, and Remus' parents did the same.

Although much younger than Prongs' parents, Moony's parents still looked old beyond their years. Gray hairs were starting to cover their heads, and they looked worn out. Remus felt a pang of guilt. He knew this would add stress to their lives, and he felt horrible for causing it. All four of the parents looked worried, but considerably less than when they arrived. They had calmed down when they saw that the boys were both safe and didn't appear to be hurt. They all sat down and the headmaster began. "Now that we're all here, the boys have something that they want to tell you." Remus opened his mouth to speak, but his throat was suddenly dry and no words came out. Luckily, James took over for him.

"What we wanted to tell you is that we're having a baby. Remus is pregnant." The room fell into silence for what seemed like an eternity to the teenagers. Finally, James' mom broke the silence when she started to sob. Her husband held her in his arms and rubbed her back to calm her down. Remus' mom had silent tears running down her face, but she embraced her son tightly. "It's going to be okay, honey. We'll figure this out." Remus broke down in his mother's arms. His father looked unsure of what to do, but he patted his son's back in an effort to be supportive.

James started to cry too. He felt horrible for causing his parents so much heartache. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you both. Please don't hate me." His father spoke up. "Now, James, we don't hate you. Your mother and I love you very much. We're just a bit shocked, that's all. But everything is going to be fine. We will always love you, and we will love this child too." His mother sniffed and nodded in agreement. She opened her arms for James, who practically leapt into the embrace.

After many more tears and several minutes later, Dippet entered the conversation again. "I know this has been a very trying and exhausting meeting, so why don't you all take some time to relax. Plans can be made later." He really was a kind man, and Remus was grateful for his support. He was lucky to have such an understanding person as the headmaster. Otherwise, he would've been out of the school in a heartbeat. Everyone nodded and wiped away their tears. More hugs were given before both sets of parents returned home.

Remus and James made their way back to the dormitory. They were emotionally drained and all they wanted to do was sleep, but they took a few minutes to recount the meeting to Peter and Sirius, before they passed out for the rest of the night in each other's arms. Sirius watched Remus sleep and thanked god that things had gone alright. Everything was fine so far, and he just prayed that it would stay that way. Unfortunately, that was one prayer that wasn't answered.

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**A/N:** So, what did you think? This chapter was rather hard to write, because this is a challenging topic to me, but hopefully it ended up alright. Please review and let me know! Next chapter: Another student finds out about Remus' pregnancy, and is not so kind about it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, One-Sided Remus/Sirius  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Graphic Sexual Situations, Mpreg, Violence  
**Note: **So here's chapter 8 already! I'm starting to get my muse back for this story, so hopefully the updates will be coming rather quickly from now on. On a side note, I originally wrote a Thanksgiving scene, but then I realized that they live in Europe, not America, and I have no idea when Thanksgiving is there, or if they even have Thanksgiving! Haha. Anyway, hope you enjoy. Special thanks to _RemmyBlack_and _Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love_ for their reviews!

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The month of November passed quickly and December was soon upon Hogwarts. Remus was busy fretting about the growing bulge of his stomach. He was wearing some of Sirius' robes, because they were baggy on him and hid his weight-gain, at least partially. He was busy staring at himself in the mirror, turning every which way to see how obvious the baby-bump was. James walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, nuzzling his face into the shorter teen's neck. Remus smiled at the affection.

"Let's get going. We don't want to miss dinner," Peter exclaimed. Remus nodded in agreement. "Yea, I'm starving!" Sirius and James laughed. "You're always starving now." Remus narrowed his eyes at them and stuck his tongue out. The four friends made their way down to the Great Hall and took their normal seats at the table. Remus immediately began pigging out on the food, and the other boys were grateful that the plates kept refilling themselves; because otherwise, they wouldn't have gotten anything to eat.

On the other side of the hall, one Severus Snape watched the Marauders closely. Remus was eating a lot lately. That was strange, because the werewolf barely ever had an appetite. He was wearing baggie clothes, and obviously gaining weight. Then there was the added attention from James. The two had always been sickeningly lovey-dovey towards each other, but recently, something had changed. James was becoming a little too protective of his boyfriend, and worrying a little too much about him. There was something going on, and Severus was going to find out what it was.

The next day, Remus woke up extra early. He was getting an ultrasound to make sure that the baby was healthy, and his stomach was doing summersaults. He was nervous and excited at the same time. Remus waited until 9 before waking the other boys up. They all grumbled and tried to go back to sleep, but all Remus had to do was say, "Fine, I'll just go get the ultrasound by myself," and Sirius and James jumped out of bed. Peter was slower to get up, but he still did. The four were on their way to the hospital wing 15 minutes later, and that's when Severus saw them.

He had been up at 7, brewing a new potion for extra credit, and burnt his hand. He was headed to the infirmary to have Madame Pomfrey fix it when he saw the Marauders going the same way. He hid until they passed and then followed them. He waited until they were all in the infirmary before standing by the door and listening. "Ah, Remus. You're here early for your ultrasound. I'm glad to see the rest of you decided to come along." They all smiled, but Snape stifled a gasp. Ultrasound? That couldn't mean –no, there's no way.

Remus lay on the bed and Madame Pomfrey waved her wand over his stomach. A hologram appeared above his belly and he gasped. There was his baby. It was incredible. James and Sirius were both silent in awe, but Peter looked a bit confused, like he was trying to figure out what it was. Remus was hit by the reality of it all. He was carrying a child; a child who was dependent on him. His baby was growing inside of him, and the hologram in front of him was proof of that. He could see the shape of the baby and hear the heartbeat. His eyes started to water in happiness. James smiled radiantly at him. "That's our baby!" He could still hardly believe it. That little human was part him and part Remus.

Snape heard James' sentence and looked around the corner of the door. He wasn't even worried about getting caught; he just had to see for himself. Once he did, he backed away and turned on heel, hurrying toward the dungeon. His burnt hands were completely forgotten until later. "Everything looks good. Your baby is perfectly healthy. Would you like to know the gender?" Remus looked at James and then shook his head. "No, I think we're going to wait." They had already discussed it and decided that they both would rather wait to find out. James smiled and kissed him lightly.

Madame Pomfrey nodded and removed her wand from over his stomach. Remus stood up and Sirius felt the urge to hug him and never let go. It was all so surreal. But it was amazing at the same time. The boys returned to the dormitory and played a game of exploding snaps. Out of nowhere, Remus said, "I want pickles." He looked innocently at James, who laughed and stood up to go to the kitchen. "Anyone want to go with me?" Sirius stood up too. He felt like going for a walk. The two made their way to the kitchen while Remus and Peter started a new game of exploding snaps.

They were almost there when they heard him. "So Lupin is pregnant, huh?" Severus stepped out from around a corner. James and Sirius both rounded on him, but he just smirked. "What are you on about Snivellus?" His smirk just widened. "I heard you all at the hospital wing this morning. The ultrasound was just so sweet." Sarcasm oozed off of every word, and the two Gryffindor's stood in silence. They weren't sure how to react. Both were wondering what the Slytherin wanted. "So which one of you is the father?" James gaped at him. "What the hell are you talking about? Of course it's me."

Snape did a little victory dance inside his head. The idiot was playing right into his hands. "Really? Hmm, poor Black. Forced to watch the man he loves carrying his best friend's child. Must be hard." Sirius tensed. How could he possibly know? James looked at Sirius. He was about to laugh at how ridiculous the statement was, but found himself stunned to find that Sirius didn't look amused. Doubt started to invade his mind, but he shook it off. "You've lost your mind, Snivellus. Slither back into your hole." Snape was not deterred.

"Oh, have I lost my mind, Black?" Before he knew what was happening, the other boy launched himself at him. He was knocked to the floor and felt punch after punch being thrown at him. James watched his best friend beat up Snape in amusement, before pulling him off. "Come on, he's not worth it." Sirius nodded and walked away from the beaten boy on the ground, with James close behind. Severus waited until they were out of earshot and then laughed. He didn't mind the bruises and black eyes. He'd successfully put doubt in Potter's mind about Black's feelings towards Lupin, and he'd pushed Black's buttons at the same time. It was worth it.

James and Sirius walked in silence towards Gryffindor Tower, the pickles all but forgotten. Sirius wasn't sure what to say to James. He hoped that James wouldn't ask, because he wasn't sure that he could bring himself to lie. James did want to ask though. He wanted so badly to ask his best friend why Snape had said what he did, but he stopped himself. If he asked, then he would be letting Snape get to him. The slimy git didn't know anything. He was just trying to cause trouble... Right?

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**A/N:** So, what did you think? I love making Snape a villain. He's just so much more fun when he's mean. Please review! Next chapter: It's Christmas Break, but who's staying with whom?


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, Remus/Sirius  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Graphic Sexual Situations, Mpreg  
**Note: **Woohoo! Another update. This story is moving right along. I'm hoping you all are enjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Now, onto chapter 9.

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Christmas Break came a lot faster than Remus would have liked. He was excited to be going home, but that also meant that he'd be away from James. Normally, the two would have visited during the break, but this year, James' parents decided that they needed to go on a family vacation because they thought it was the last time that they had the chance. They reasoned that after Remus gave birth, James wouldn't want to leave the baby to go on vacation. In their defense, it was probably true, but they could always take the baby with them for a couple days.

Regardless, Remus wasn't going to protest. Even though James' parents claimed to love Remus, he still felt like he'd been on thin ice with them since they found out about the pregnancy. Remus sighed. He was curled up in the common room reading the assigned sections for Transfigurations. He was going to miss James, but at least he wouldn't be alone. Sirius was going to be staying with him, because he didn't have the best relationship with his family and the thought of spending the holidays with them sounded like torture to him.

James had acted a bit weird when Remus had told him their plans, but the werewolf just assumed it was because James wished he could spend Christmas with Remus. In reality, it was more than that. James still kept replaying Snape's words in his mind, and he didn't like the idea of Sirius staying with Remus, alone. He tried to push the thoughts out of his head and tell himself that he was just being silly, but they just kept creeping in and he had a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach.

At the current moment, James was involved in a game of Wizard's Chess with Sirius while Peter watched in fascination. Suddenly, Remus gasped and grabbed his stomach. James was by his side in a heartbeat. "What is it? Is it the baby? Is something wrong?" Remus turned to him and smiled widely. "The baby's kicking. Feel it." He grabbed James' hand and placed it on his stomach. James waited in anticipation, and then he felt it. He looked up at Remus. "Oh my god. I felt it. The baby kicked." He was laughing happily and Remus joined in.

There were no words to describe how amazing it was. Remus was overcome with a peaceful euphoria, and James felt like he was on cloud nine. Sirius and Peter took turns feeling the baby. "Wow, that's a strong kick," Peter exclaimed, and the others laughed merrily. Things felt so perfect at that moment.

The next morning, the boys got onto the Hogwarts Express and enjoyed the train ride together. Remus was cuddled against James the entire time, and he felt a sense of loss when they pulled apart. "I already miss you," James said. Remus gave him a small smile in return. "I already miss you too. I can't wait to get back from break and see you again." James gave him a gentle kiss. "I love you. And our little boy or girl." James placed his hand on Remus' stomach and smiled warmly. Remus grinned back. "And we love you too." They kissed again, before parting ways.

Sirius and Remus met up with the werewolf's parents and headed back to his place. Sirius let out a contented sigh when he was in Moony's room. He'd spent so many nights here, and had so many great times. It felt like home. He tried not to be too excited that it was just him and Remus for the entire break. They both unpacked their things and went back to the dining room for lunch. The rest of the day passed pretty uneventfully, but Remus and Sirius were content to just be around each other. They joked around like they didn't have a care in the world, and it felt nice. Remus hadn't felt this carefree since he found out he was pregnant.

As they prepared for bed, Sirius sat down next to Remus. "Moony, I just, I want you to know how proud I am of you." Remus searched his eyes for sincerity and found it. "I just think it's amazing how you're having this baby. You could have easily terminated the pregnancy because you were too young or because you were afraid or embarrassed, but you didn't. You're a really strong person, and I know you'll make an amazing dad." Remus' eyes started to water and he pulled Sirius into a hug. The baby chose that moment to kick again and Sirius felt it against his own stomach. They both laughed and pulled away apart, but they stayed close.

Sirius could feel Remus' breathe against his lips and he instinctively leaned into him. Their lips met for a brief second, and sparks went through both their bodies. Remus quickly backed away. "Sirius, what are you doing? I, I can't. I'm with James." Sirius paled. "Oh my god, Remus, I'm so sorry. I just, I can't believe I just did that." He jumped off the bed and ran, out of the room, out of the house; he just ran and ran. He couldn't believe he'd done that. What the hell was he thinking? He was a horrible friend, and now he'd ruined everything.

Remus brought his hand up to his lips in a daze. What just happened? Sirius was supposed to be his best friend. He wasn't supposed to kiss him, and it wasn't supposed to feel right. Remus loved James, but he loved Sirius too- just in a different way. He didn't know what to think. He was so confused. Even if he wanted to be with Sirius, which he wasn't sure he did, he couldn't be. He was having a baby with James, and nothing Sirius did was going to change that.

He sighed and followed the path that his best friend had taken. It took him 10 minutes, but he finally found Sirius sitting by the edge of the lake near the property. He sat down next to the dark-haired teen and saw that tears were streaming down his face. Remus felt his heart breaking, and he found himself wanting nothing more than to wipe away Sirius' tears and kiss him until he ran out of air. But he knew he couldn't. He knew what he had to do. He just wished things weren't so complicated.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I didn't mean to screw everything up. I'm such an idiot." Remus sighed. "No, you're not, Sirius. But you know that nothing can happen between us. I care about you, Sirius, a lot, but I love James, and I'm pregnant with his child." Sirius sighed. "I know that, I do. I don't know what came over me. I'm happy for you two, I really am. I just, I don't know…You're going to tell him, aren't you?" He looked resigned to the fact, but Remus shook his head. "No. It was a mistake, and it's not going to happen again. I don't want to ruin anything by telling him."

It was true. A part of him felt like he should tell James, but another part of him said no. It wouldn't do any good, and it would just cause problems. There was already too much going on without adding this to it. Sirius nodded silently. This was the way things were, and he just had to accept it, for everyone's sake: James, Remus, and the baby. But a part of Sirius wondered 'what if'. What if Remus had never gotten pregnant? Would things still be the same or would he and Remus have ended up together? It was the 'what if's' that drove Sirius crazy.

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**A/N:** So another chapter down. What do you think? I felt so bad for Sirius AND Remus in this chapter, so I'm hoping you got the same feelings out of it. Please review! Next chapter: The boys return from Winter Break and a secret is revealed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, Remus/Sirius  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Graphic Sexual Situations, Mpreg, Violence  
**Note: **Chapter 10 is already here! Wow, this story is going even faster than I thought it would! I hope you guys like this chapter, because I loved writing it. It just flowed really well. Hope you enjoy!

XXX

"James!" Remus yelled when he spotted his boyfriend at the train station. He ran towards him and leapt into his arms. James hugged him back tightly. It had been a long winter break and he'd missed Remus. "I missed you so much." Remus inhaled the other boy's scent and smiled. "I missed you too." Sirius stood beside them and James embraced him in a hug next. "Hey, Padfoot." Sirius nodded in greeting, but there was something different. There was a guilty look in his eyes, and James' stomach squirmed. They made their way onto the Hogwarts Express and found the compartment that Peter had saved for them.

When they were all seated, James directed his question to Sirius. "So what did you guys do over the break?" He was waiting to study his friend's response closely. Sirius just shrugged and averted his gaze from James. "Nothing much. Just hung out…" James' eyebrows rose. He didn't buy that for one minute. Sirius may be good at lying to other people, but he was lousy at lying to James. He turned his attention to Remus, who just nodded in agreement, but there was a guilty look on his face too, and James did not like it. But, he didn't press them, because in all honesty, he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

They got back to the school, and as per tradition, James and Sirius pulled their back-to-school prank. They caused the Slytherin turkeys and hams to blow up and sprinkle confetti all over them. The Great Hall laughed, aside from the Slytherins of course, but McGonagall gave Sirius and James a reprimanding look and mouthed "Detention. Tonight. 8" They rolled their eyes. It figured that she'd be a joykill to their fun. Remus tsked. "Nice going, guys." They just gave him their patented sheepish grins, and James gave him a peck kiss.

Remus had just passed out while reading a book in front of the fireplace when 8 o'clock rolled around. James didn't want to wake him, so he kissed his head lovingly, and he and Sirius made their way to detention. Upon arriving at Professor McGonagall's office, they saw cleaning supplies and groaned. "You two will be cleaning the trophy room by hand tonight. Give me your wands." They grudgingly handed over their wands and followed her to the trophy room. "You will clean until they are all spotless. I will be back in an hour to check on you."

They grumbled, but began cleaning. The faster they finished this, the faster they could leave. They made a few jokes about the looks on the Slytherins' faces when their food exploded, but they mostly worked in silence. After about 45 minutes, James decided that he needed to know. "Padfoot, what happened during Winter Break?" Sirius froze and looked at James. He laughed nervously. "Nothing. I don't know what you're talking about." James growled. "I know you're lying. You're supposed to be my best friend, so if something happened, then I deserve to know." Sirius sighed. James was right.

"I kissed Remus." He said it so quietly that James almost missed it. Almost. He stood frozen in his spot until the words had completely sunk in. Sirius opened his mouth to say "I'm sorry" but James launched at him. He wasn't even paying attention to where he was hitting Sirius; he just kept hitting and hitting. Sirius tried pushing him off, and when that didn't work, he punched him back, hitting James square in the jaw. The anger in James' eyes intensified and he hit Sirius so hard across his face that his head hit the concrete floor and he almost blacked out. His eyes were fading in and out of darkness when he heard McGonagall's voice.

"What on earth! Expelliarmus!" The boys were thrown apart and Sirius sat up as James was glaring daggers at him. "You two are best friends. What were you thinking? Detention. Potter, yours will be tomorrow at 8, and Black, yours will be the next day at 8. I have never, in all my years, seen friends act this way towards each other. Go back to your common room now, and if I find out that there's been anymore fighting, you two will be in serious trouble." They left the room and walked back to Gryffindor Tower in silence.

As soon as they entered the portrait, James went straight to Remus. "He kissed you, and you didn't tell me." Remus went from shocked to scared in less than 30 seconds. "James, let me explain," but James cut him off. "No, you cheated on me. With our best friend. How could you do this? What about our relationship? What about the baby? Is it even mine or is it Sirius'?" James knew that the baby was his, but he was so angry that the words just came out. Remus looked like he'd been slapped across the face.

"Don't talk to him that way," Sirius said angrily. James had every right to be mad, but that was low. James punched Sirius as hard as he could across the face, and then watched as his best friend hit the ground. "James!" Remus jumped down to see if Sirius was okay. James laughed in disbelief. "I can't believe this. I hate you both." Remus shook his head. "You don't mean that." James' eyes hardened. "Yes I do." He turned around and walked away, as Remus stared after him in anguish and began to cry.

Tears were spilling down James' face as he left the common room. He didn't even know where he was going, but he ended up at the Quidditch Pitch. He slid down the wall and curled his legs against his chest. He saw a flash of red and turned to see Lily walking towards him. He let her sit down without making a smart remark; mostly because he was too tired to bother. They sat in silence until Lily looked at him. "You ok?" He laughed bitterly. "Yea, I'm just great." Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "I came out here to help you, Potter, but if you're going to give me an attitude, then I'll just leave." She stood up to leave, but James grabbed her arm.

"Wait. I'm sorry. I'm just upset." She nodded and sat back down. He wasn't sure why he wanted her company, but he did. "I just can't believe they did this to me." She sighed. "What exactly did they do?" He winced. "They kissed." She nodded in understanding. "Was it a mistake?" He scoffed. "Who cares if it was a mistake? They kissed!" He yelled angrily. If she came out here to tell him that he should just forgive Remus and Sirius and move on, then she was wasting her breath. "Look, you have every right to be mad and feel betrayed. But they're only human. They make mistakes. Sirius has been in love with Remus for years now. I'm sure the whole pregnancy thing just sent him over the edge and he messed up."

James looked at her quizzically. "How do you know that Sirius has been in love with Remus for years?" Lily gave him a knowing look. "It was obvious. You had to have noticed. Maybe you just tried to deny it, because if you admitted it, then you would also have to admit that you stole Remus from Sirius. He was in love with him before you two even started dating, and you know it." James swallowed. It was true. He'd tried to ignore it and pretend it wasn't real, but deep down, he'd known all along. So who really was the worse friend?

Lily continued. "I'm not saying that what they did was right, but part of loving someone, whether it's your friend or boyfriend, is realizing that everyone makes mistakes, and being able to forgive them. Just talk to them." James looked at her, trying to discern how he felt about her encouragement. Her eyes shown with compassion and kindness and James found himself trusting her. "Fine. But I'm not going to just forgive them with the snap of my fingers."

"Nobody asked you to." James sighed and pulled her into a hug. "Thanks, Evans," he said quietly. "Anytime, Potter. Now get off me." He laughed and let go of her, and she laughed lightly in return. She really did have a beautiful laugh, James noticed. He stood up and the two walked back to the Gryffindor Tower in a comfortable silence. When they reached the portrait, James took a deep breath and walked inside to face Remus and Sirius.

XXX

**A/N:** Woo, so much drama! What'd you think? I wanted to show more of James and Lily because most of the last chapter was devoted to Sirius and Remus. Please review! Next chapter: More drama! I can't get more specific than that without giving anything away. Sorry. You'll have to tune in to find out!


	11. Chapter 11

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, Remus/Sirius  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Graphic Sexual Situations, Mpreg, Stillbirth  
**Note: **This chapter was very hard to write, and I can imagine that it will be hard to read too, because it is a very sensitive issue, so just be prepared. Hope you don't hate me too much at the end of this chapter!

XXX

James entered the Gryffindor common room and was instantly greeted by the heartbroken face of Remus. His eyes were bloodshot from crying and his cheeks were covered in tear stains. James would have felt a lot more guilt if Remus wasn't being consoled in Sirius' arms. They separated as soon as they saw James, but he was still tempted to walk back out. He looked at Lily and she provided him with an encouraging smile that forced him to stay. He approached the two boys slowly. It was deathly silent around them, and the other students were watching in anticipation of a fight. He sighed.

"You both really screwed up. I can't just forgive you for that." Remus nodded and stood so he was right in front of James. He took James' hands in his as he spoke. "I know that. And I don't expect you to forgive me overnight. But give me a chance to make it up to you. I'll do anything to make this right. I'm sorry." James exhaled slowly. "Ok." Remus went to kiss him, but he turned his head to the side. The werewolf looked hurt but he didn't say anything. He knew he deserved that. James wasn't trying to purposely hurt Remus, but he just couldn't kiss him right now. All he could think about was how Sirius had kissed those same lips. It was going to take a long time to forgive them, and even once he did, James knew he'd never forget.

Sirius observed his two friends quietly. His emotions were spinning like a hurricane. He was happy for them because they had a baby to think about, but he was sad that Remus chose James over him, but he was angry too. He was angry with everyone. He was angry with himself for kissing Remus, he was angry at Remus for being pregnant with James' child, and he was angry with James for stealing the man that he loved and then hurting him. He knew he was being ridiculous and didn't have any right to be angry, but he just couldn't help it. He may have kissed Remus, but James was acting like Remus slept with him. None of this was even Remus' fault.

James was overreacting, but Sirius knew that Remus would never tell him that. He also knew that Remus would never place all the blame on Sirius by saying that Sirius had kissed him and Remus had pushed him away. He wanted to say it for Remus, but he was afraid to make things worse and completely lose both of his best friends. He felt like such a coward, and he hated it. Remus, in truth, wanted so badly to tell James that he had pushed Sirius away, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words. Because, if he was honest with himself, he would admit that even though he hadn't kissed Sirius back, he had wanted to and that was just as bad.

He didn't think that things could ever be the same again, and the thought scared him. He wished he could just go back to the way things were before he got pregnant. It seemed like things were so much easier then. James sat down on the couch and Remus moved to sit down next to him. Before he could, he felt a sharp stab in his abdomen. He gasped in pain and clutched his stomach. In the seconds that followed, Remus heard the voices of James, Sirius, Peter, and Lily all saying his name before he blacked out.

James watched in horror as Remus fell to the ground. He was instantly on the floor, trying desperately to wake him up. When Remus wouldn't open his eyes, James lifted him in his arms and ran out the door. He was followed by Sirius, Peter, and Lily, but he didn't wait for them. He ran as fast as he could to the hospital wing. He didn't think. He didn't even know what he was screaming, but he could hear himself yelling. As soon as he reached the infirmary, Madame Pomfrey ushered him over to a bed and he placed his unconscious boyfriend on it. She shooed him away and closed the curtains that surrounded the bed.

He could hear her trying spell after spell, but he felt cold inside. Sirius, Lily, and Peter were hounding him with questions, but he didn't answer. Everything sounded so far away and detached. Nothing seemed real. James felt like he was watching this happen to someone else. After what seemed like an eternity, he saw Madame Pomfrey walk out from behind the curtain, and he saw her lips move, but he couldn't hear a sound. Sirius started to shake him, and all of a sudden, the sounds around him came buzzing into focus. Everything was so loud that it was almost deafening. "Did you hear me?" Madame Pomfrey asked, with a worried look on her face. He shook his head.

"I did everything I could, but there was just no way to save the baby. I'm sorry." She gave him a sympathetic look, and he felt dizzy. There was no way to save the baby. The phrase replayed over and over again in his head. "Can I see it? Can I see the baby?" She looked as if she were about to refuse, but thought better of it. She led him inside the curtained area. Remus was still unconscious. He looked pale, like he had lost a lot of blood. She handed him a swaddled blanket with his baby inside. No, not his baby; the body of his baby. He looked down at the innocent face in awe. He held the child against his chest and sobs racked his body. He finally handed the baby back to Madame Pomfrey.

"Please, call the morgue before Remus wakes up. He can't see the baby; not like this." James wished he had never asked to see the baby. That wasn't his child. This child was lifeless and cold. He could never forget that face now. He couldn't put Remus through that. He sat down in a chair next to Remus' bed and held his hand. Sirius, Lily, and Peter came to stand behind him. No one said a word. The minutes ticked away and Lily and Peter had fallen asleep in their chairs. But James and Sirius couldn't sleep. They sat in silence until Remus slowly opened his eyes.

"James, what, what happened?" He tried to sit up but felt an agonizing pain in his stomach and cried out. His hand automatically went to the baby bump, but it was different. He felt empty. He looked at James with wide-eyes. "Where's my baby?" James opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't get the words out. "James, where is my baby?" Remus was practically screaming now. "I'm sorry." James couldn't bring himself to say more than that but Remus understood what he was saying. He shook his head. "No, no!" He jumped out of bed.

He tried to push past James, but the raven-haired boy held him. "Let me go, I'm going to find my baby." He was hitting James' chest and screaming at him to let him go. James just tightened his grip around him, and Remus collapsed into his arms. He crumpled to the floor and screamed in anguish. He cried and cried until he had no more tears left. James was sitting next to him and rubbing his back, but it gave Remus no comfort. James lifted him up and put him back on the bed when Madame Pomfrey came over to check on him. "How could this happen?" he whispered.

She looked at him sadly. "It was a placental abruption, which means the placenta stripped away from the uterine wall, causing the fetus to not get enough oxygen. There was nothing that could be done. But listen to me, Remus. It was not your fault. Nothing you did could have prevented it." Even as she said the words, Remus didn't believe it. He had wished that things would go back to the way they were before he was pregnant, and then his baby had died. He'd caused this. "Was it-" his voice broke, but he took a deep breath to continue. "Was it a boy or girl?" Tears began falling down James' face again. "She was a girl."

The breath caught in Remus' throat. A daughter. His little girl. She'd been depending on him to take care of her and he'd failed her. She was innocent, and he'd let her die. He didn't think he had any tears left, but he was wrong. He began to sob again as James placed his head on Remus' hands and cried. James just kept thinking that this was his fault. He'd been so angry at Remus for something that seemed so stupid now. His daughter was dead. James would never get to sing her to sleep, or braid her hair, or warn her about boys. Neither Remus nor James knew how they were supposed to go on after this. A part of both of them had died when their daughter did.

XXX

**A/N:** Wow, this was so depressing to write. I feel terrible, but I had to do it for the story to work with my vision. This is not the end though. There are a couple more chapters to come, so stay tuned. Please review!


	12. Chapter 12

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, Remus/Sirius, James/Lily  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Mpreg, Stillbirth  
**Note:** First off, I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed to the last chapter! It made me really happy to hear from all of you. This chapter pretty much deals with the aftermath of the stillbirth. I know it's depressing, but it's necessary. The next chapter will be happier though, I promise. Hope you enjoy.

XXX

Madame Pomfrey kept Remus in the infirmary for the next couple of days to help him recover. During that time, Remus refused to talk to anyone. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't sleep, he wouldn't do anything. He just lied there, curled up in a ball, staring off into space. He felt like he had no tears left to cry, and he was just numb. He didn't really feel anything. It was like he wasn't even alive. Everyone had tried to get him to eat, but with no success.

James had attempted to talk to him several times, but every time, Remus would stay silent and James felt himself pulling farther and farther away. It wasn't fair. Remus wasn't the only one grieving. She was James' baby too, and he needed to talk about what happened, but Remus just wouldn't let him. He was acting like he was the only one who was hurting, but he wasn't. James finally stalked off after the second day and hadn't returned since. He was sitting by lake, just staring out into the water. He heard someone sit down and turned to see Lily.

James' gaze returned to the Black Lake. "I wonder what it would be like. To go under the water and never come back up." Lily sighed. "Don't think like that." James shrugged. "Why? It's how I feel. I just – I don't know if I can do this much longer. This constant pain. It's eating me away inside and I just want it to go away." Tears were silently filling his eyes. "The pain won't ever go away completely. You lost a baby. That doesn't just disappear. But eventually, you'll be able to manage the pain and keep living."

James laughed bitterly. "Really, and when will that be? Because right now, it feels like nothing will ever be right again." She bit her lip. "I know it does, but over time, the pain will start to be less and less. I know you want a solution now, but you have to wait. Things will get better." Tears were streaming down his face now. "And what if they don't? What if I always feel this way?" She sighed and pulled him into an embrace. He cried into her arms as she rubbed his back soothingly.

In the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey refused to release Remus until he started eating. Sirius had been at his bedside night and day, only leaving to go to the bathroom. He refused to leave, even when Remus wouldn't talk to him. "I know you're hurting, Moony, but you have to eat. You can't starve yourself." The werewolf just shrugged in response, so Sirius tried again. "Why don't you talk to me? You can't keep everything bottled up inside. Just tell me what you're feeling." Remus sat up abruptly.

"You wanna know what I'm feeling? I'm angry; I'm so angry. People have healthy babies every day, but what, I don't deserve my daughter? Because why? Because I'm a werewolf, because I'm a guy, because I'm too young? What is it? Please tell me, Sirius, because I'd really like to know." He yelled, and then added quietly, "This isn't fair. She deserved to live, and it's my fault that she didn't." He began to cry and Sirius stared at him in shock for a moment. "What are you talking about, Remus? It wasn't your fault. You heard Madame Pomfrey-"

Remus cut him off. "Yea, I heard her, but nothing she says changes the fact that I should have been able to protect my baby. She was counting on me to keep her safe, and I let her down. The one thing that I should have been able to do, and I failed." He started sobbing and covered his face with his hands. Sirius sat on the bed next to him and pulled him close. "Shh, it's ok" he whispered, over and over again to the crying teen. But it wasn't okay, and both of them knew it.

James finally calmed himself down enough to pull away from Lily. She was looking at him with such innocent and compassionate eyes that he just wanted to protect her. He _needed _to protect her, because he hadn't been able to protect his daughter. "I was thinking of naming her Hope. I was waiting to talk to Remus about it, but that's the name I wanted." Lily smiled softly at him. "That's a beautiful name." He bit his lip. "Do you think I would have been a good father?" Lily regarded him silently for a moment.

"I think you would have been an amazing father. You loved your daughter more than anything, and that's the most important thing you can do for your child. And I know you would have taught her how to play Quidditch and how to make her hair look messy, like you always do." She ruffled his hair playfully and he laughed lightly. "Thanks, Evans." He had needed to hear that. James was different than the guy Lily had always known. Ever since Remus' pregnancy, he'd changed. He was still the annoying, cocky, git that he'd always been, but he was more now.

He was vulnerable and hurt, and Lily found herself wanting to make it all better. She took his face in her hands and gently wiped away his tears. They locked gazes and their lips met gently. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but a comforting one. It was a kiss to say that Lily was there for James and he could count on her. James understood what she was saying, and he was surprised to find that it helped, even if just a tiny bit.

Remus sighed and pulled back from Sirius. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked exhausted. "Remus, I know that you think it was your fault, but it wasn't. There was nothing you could do. Please don't blame yourself. Your daughter wouldn't want that for you. You don't want to disgrace her memory by wallowing around feeling guilty for the rest of your life. You have to live-for her." Remus swallowed hard.

"How am I supposed to do that, Padfoot?" He was so desperate and lost that Sirius felt like crying, but he held himself together. He had to be strong for Remus. "One day at a time. Hell, one minute at a time, if that's what it takes. But you don't have to do it alone. I'll be there for you every step of the way." Remus nodded and pulled Sirius into another hug. Sirius picked up a bowl of mashed potatoes from the tray that Madame Pomfrey had left and looked at Remus hopefully. Remus took them, and began to eat. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

XXX

**A/N:** So what did you think? There's only 2 more chapters left until the end; So please review!


	13. Chapter 13

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, Remus/Sirius, James/Lily  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Mpreg, Stillbirth, Graphic Sexual Situations  
**Note: **I think this is the longest chapter so far, because there was so much to put in it. I could have separated it into two chapters, but I thought it made more since to put it all together in one. There is some rather graphic sex at the end of this chapter, so skip over that if you aren't comfortable with it. Hope you enjoy.

XXX

Madame Pomfrey had grudgingly released Remus from the infirmary after four days. Two weeks had passed since then, and things weren't much different. Headmaster Dippet had told Remus and James to take as many days off from classes as they needed, but Remus didn't miss one. He needed to keep himself busy. During the day, he was distracted from his pain by schoolwork and class, but at night, after everyone had gone to sleep, Remus was left alone with only his thoughts and his grief to keep him company. He hated nights. He just wanted them to be over. He didn't sleep anyway, so they did him absolutely no good.

Everyone expected Remus and James to grow closer from this, but it just didn't happen that way. In reality, they'd grown farther apart. They couldn't talk to each other like they used to. Things just felt wrong, and it scared them both. They still loved each other, but it seemed like neither was willing to try anymore. They were both still clinging to the hope that they could work through everything together, but it seemed like they just couldn't bring themselves to make the effort. Remus had Sirius by his side almost constantly, trying to get him to eat and go for walks to get fresh air; and Lily had been surprisingly supportive of James.

Remus was her good friend, but he already had someone to help him through his pain. James didn't. Sure, he had Peter, who really did try, but he wasn't very good at giving comfort. He'd say things like, "well, it's probably for the best, right?" They all knew he meant well, but he came off as being insensitive and rude. But Lily had always had a hero-complex. She didn't want to run around shooting webs out of her fingers like the muggle hero Spider Man, but she did like to save people. She couldn't help herself. Every time she saw someone who needed help, her first instinct was to do everything she could for them.

That's what had occurred with James. He was lost and alone, and he needed Lily, so she put on her metaphorical superhero outfit and came to his rescue. James appreciated everything she had done for him more than she'd ever know. She seemed to know exactly what he needed. She would let him talk through it if he needed to, or distract him with Quidditch when he wanted to stop thinking about it, or even just sit in silence with him when he needed someone. He didn't know what he would have done if it hadn't been for her.

_XX_

Peter and Sirius had gone to breakfast without Remus and James. They always woke their friends up, but neither had been sleeping well lately, so they felt too guilty waking them up when they finally did fall asleep. James woke up and realized Sirius and Peter had already left, and he cursed them to himself. He shook Remus up. "Hey, Moony, wake up. Padfoot and Wormtail already went down to breakfast." Remus sat up groggily. He'd finally passed out around 6:30 that morning from sheer exhaustion. His gaze met James and they both froze. They hadn't said more than a couple words to each other since their daughter's death.

James sighed and sat down next to the werewolf. It was time they talked. "Look, Remus, I…" He trailed off, completely unsure of what to say. Remus felt tears well up in his eyes. "I'm sorry" he choked out. James blinked at him in confusion. "Sorry for what?" Remus had to take a few breaths to calm down enough to speak again. "For letting our daughter down. I didn't protect her. I'm so sorry." He was sobbing again, and he cursed himself for being so weak. He was tired of crying. James grabbed his hand and held it tightly.

"Remus, I don't blame you. I blame myself. If I hadn't flipped out on you about kissing Sirius, then you wouldn't have gotten stressed. And maybe our daughter would still be alive. It's my fault, Remus. I'm so sorry." He was sobbing now too, and Remus embraced him in a hug. They clung to each other, crying out all their emotions. Finally, they pulled apart, but their arms were still around one another. "James, it's not your fault." The raven-haired boy choked back another sob. "Well, it's not your fault either. So then whose fault is it? Because it has to be somebody's."

Remus swallowed. He'd been feeling that way all along. Someone had to be at blame for the stillbirth. He needed someone to blame. But he was starting to realize that maybe there was no one. "Maybe it's nobody's fault." The words were a whisper, but saying them aloud made them feel real. James shook his head. "It's not fair." Remus nodded as tears trailed down his face. "I know." They gazes locked and they could both see that the other's watery eyes were filled with pain. They needed the comfort of being close to someone.

They leaned into a gentle kiss. They could taste tears on their lips, and it was salty. They pulled apart and smiled sadly at each other. "It's different now, isn't it?" James asked, and Remus nodded sadly. "Yea, it is. We're not the same people we were before…" He couldn't bring himself to say before what, but James understood. Things didn't feel right with them anymore. They didn't belong together now, and as much as it hurt, they both knew it would hurt a lot worse if they tried to deny it and stay together. More tears were falling down their faces as they kissed one more time. They both knew it was a good bye kiss.

_XX_

James was sitting by the lake again. This had become his favorite spot. He could stare out at the lake for hours and never get tired of it. Sometimes, he would be lost in thought, but other times, he could let his mind go blank and focus on the feel of the wind across his face and the sun beating down on his back. Lily sat down beside him. "We need to stop meeting like this," she joked. She saw the tear stains on his cheeks, and switched to concerned-mode. "Are you okay?" James nodded silently. "Remus and I are over." She gasped.

"No, you can't! You both love each other. You'll get through this." He shook his head. "No we won't. We do love each other, but it's just not enough. So much has changed since she died. We just…we don't belong together anymore." His tone was serious and sad at the same time, and Lily knew he was being honest. "Wow, well, I'm sorry." She wasn't sure what else to say, but he nodded. She looked at him and took in his appearance. His messy, raven-colored hair was shining in the light and he had his eyes closed as if he were savoring the warmth of the sun.

Lily could see it now. She'd always wondered why Remus loved James, but now she knew. She leaned towards him and pressed her lips to his. He opened his eyes in surprise and pulled back. They didn't say anything, and James reconnected their lips after a moment of silence. They felt tingles pulse through their bodies and their heads were spinning. At that moment, James felt like he would be okay.

_XX_

When midnight arrived, Remus couldn't sleep again. He just couldn't bear to stay in that room any longer. He needed to get away. He crept out of the dormitory and headed towards the grounds. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he found himself arriving at the Whomping Willow. He made his way back to the Shrieking Shack through the tunnel and then sat on the old, worn-out couch that was in one of the side rooms. As soon as he sat down, he heard a commotion in the tunnels and jumped back up in fear. His wand was ready and his heart was beating fast.

Sirius came stumbling through the tunnel. "Whoa, Remus! It's ok. It's just me." Remus let out a breath that he hadn't known he was holding in and lowered his wand. "What are you doing here, Sirius?" He sat down on the couch again, and Sirius sat next to him. "I heard you leave the room, so I followed you here. Why did you come to the Shrieking Shack?" The wind was howling loudly outside and it gave Sirius the creeps. He shrugged. "I don't know. I just needed to get away…James and I broke up today." Sirius stayed silent. He didn't know how to respond.

He wasn't happy, because he knew they were both hurting, but he couldn't ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach. "Are you okay?" Remus sighed. "I think so. It's just, weird, you know?" Sirius nodded. "Do you think people have a soul mate? Like, that one person they're supposed to be with for the rest of their lives?" Sirius considered this. "Yea, I think so. I think if you're meant to be with a person, then it'll happen." Remus nodded and leaned into Sirius' chest. The dark-haired boy wrapped his arms around the werewolf and held him.

"I'm here for you, Remus. You know that." Remus smiled into Sirius' chest and looked up at him. Sirius' eyes shone with love and it drew Remus in. Their lips met. It was different from their first kiss, but it still filled Remus with warmth. He craved this feeling. He'd felt so cold inside since his daughter died, and this was the only thing that warmed him up. His arms wrapped around Sirius' neck and he lied down, pulling Sirius on top of him. The kiss was broken long enough for their shirts to be pulled off.

They both looked over the other's chest with lust-lidded eyes. Their lips connected again, and their tongues intertwined. Their chests were pressed against each other and heat was radiating off their bodies. Remus started to undo Sirius' belt and his pants were quickly pulled off. Sirius did the same for Remus, and soon they were both naked. They took a minute to take in the other's appearance. Remus thought Sirius looked perfect. Everything about him was amazing, including his body. "Beautiful," Sirius breathed out, and he meant it.

They kissed again and their throbbing erections rubbed against each other. Sirius pulled back and grabbed his wand. He muttered a lubrication spell and prepared to enter Remus, but stopped as he reached his hole. "Are you sure?" Remus nodded and kissed him lightly in encouragement. Sirius pushed himself in and Remus bit his lip. Sirius slowly pulled himself out and pushed back in. Remus' hands went around Sirius' neck again and Remus bit his neck to keep from crying out. Sirius thrust in and out gently, and Remus began to rock back and forth in rhythm with him.

His nails were digging into Sirius' back and he was breathing heavily. When Sirius hit his prostate, he gasped and leaned his head back in pleasure. Sirius began kissing his exposed neck and thrusting faster. Remus felt tight and warm, and the moans that were escaping his lips were driving Sirius wild. As Remus neared completion, he arched his back and cried out Sirius' name, causing the other boy to thrust even faster before they finished together.

Sirius collapsed on top of Remus, and the two laid still until they could catch their breath. Sirius's now flaccid penis slipped out of Remus' hole, and the dark-haired boy moved so he was lying on the other's side. His arms wrapped around Remus, and the werewolf cuddled against his chest. "Sirius," he said quietly. "I love you." Sirius smiled and kissed his forehead. "I love you too." That night, Remus slept peacefully for the first time in two weeks.

XXX

**A/N:** So what did you think? Quite a bit happier than the last two chapters, right? We're nearing the end now; only one more chapter left, but it will be a long one too. Please review!


	14. Epilogue

**Title:** Tough Love  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Remus/James, Remus/Sirius, James/Lily  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** Slash, Mpreg, Stillbirth, Graphic Sexual Situations, Violence  
**Note: **Wow, so this is it people: the last chapter. It seems like it's been so long since I began this story, and I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who stuck with me throughout the entire thing; reading and reviewing, even when I lost my motivation entirely. It's because of some of you that I managed to finish this today. So my sincerest thanks to **killhilvolume2, Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love, **and** RemmyBlack**. I really appreciate all of your support!

XXX

Two years had passed, and the teens had all grown into young adults and graduated. The marauders, along with Lily, had joined the Order of the Phoenix shortly after graduation. Voldemort was getting stronger and the light side needed as much help as it could get. But none of them were worried about that today; because today was Lily and James' wedding. Before the ceremony, James asked to speak to Remus privately. The werewolf gave him a reassuring smile. "Congratulations." James smiled brightly back at him.

"Thanks… I just wanted to make sure that you knew why I picked Sirius to be my best man. You do understand, don't you?" He looked hopefully to his friend, and Remus nodded. "Yea, I do. It would have just been too weird for me." James sighed in relief. "Good, I'm glad you feel the same way. Because you know that you're my best friend too, Remus." He placed his hand on Remus' shoulder. "I know. I'm just glad you're happy. You and Lily make a beautiful couple." He meant every word. There was no hidden jealousy behind his statement, and James knew that.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened? I mean, if we had stayed together; do you think it would be us here right now, about to get married?" Remus shrugged. "I don't know, James…But I think it's better this way. You're happy with Lily." James nodded. "And you're happy with Sirius." Remus smiled at the mention of his lover. "Yea, I really am." The two sat in silence for a moment before James embraced Remus in a hug. "I'll always love you." Remus felt his eyes starting to water and he pushed back tears. "I'll always love you too." They parted, and an hour later, James was married to Lily.

_XX_

Another year went by and Remus and Sirius found themselves waiting at the hospital for the birth of Lily and James' first child. Remus could hear Lily screaming through her labor, and he bit his lip. Sirius was holding his hand, and he tried to focus on the next move that the Order would make. He had to keep his mind off of what was going on inside that room, because if he thought about it, then he might start thinking about his own daughter, and he couldn't do that right now. Finally, after several hours of waiting in anticipation, they heard a baby cry.

James ran out of the room. "It's a boy!" He was bursting with excitement. Sirius beamed at him and patted him on the back. Remus only managed a small smile. He was happy for James, he really was, but he hadn't realized how much this was going to hurt. James looked like he was getting concerned, so Remus hugged him quickly. James deserved to be happy. "That's fantastic, Prongs." James smiled back to Remus, but the werewolf could see the look of understanding in his eyes. James didn't even have to explain to Remus later why they'd chosen Sirius as the godfather.

That night, Remus was sitting up by the fire. He was getting lost in the dancing flames from staring so long when Sirius sat beside him. "You ok?" He smiled and nodded, even though he felt like he was dying. Sirius sighed. "No, you're not, Remus. You don't have to lie to me." Remus swallowed hard. "You're right. I'm not fine. I'm happy for James and Lily. I think it's great, but I just can't stop thinking about my baby; about losing her. It just hurts." The tears were glistening in his eyes and a few escaped to roll down his cheeks. Sirius brushed them away lightly with his fingers. "I know."

Remus leaned into his lover's embrace, and Sirius rubbed his back soothingly. "Things will be okay, Moony." The werewolf smiled at the childhood nickname. It seemed like so long ago that they had all been kids and became the Marauders. "I know it will, because I have you." He pulled back from Sirius far enough to look into his eyes. "I don't know what I would do without you, Sirius. You were my light in the darkest time of my life, and even though my world is getting brighter, you still shine like my angel."

Sirius felt his own eyes begin to water as he tried to stop himself from crying. "All I want is to make you happy, Remus, because you make me happy. I look forward to waking up every morning because of you. You're my lover; my friend; and my heart. You're my everything." Their gazes locked, and they kissed each other softly. "I love you, Remus." Sirius placed his forehead on Remus'. "I love you too, Sirius."

_And the rest is history._

Fin

XXX

**A/N:** So we've reached the end of our journey, my faithful readers. You all know what happens after this, and unfortunately, I don't think any of our beloved characters got the happy ending that they deserved. I know this chapter wasn't very long, but hopefully it was good none-the-less. Please Review one final time! I'd really love it.


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